“No Hate Like Christian Love?” Why Warning People About Sin Is Actually Love — And the Data Agrees
If you’re a Christian on social media, it won’t take long for this classic atheist one-liner to find you.
For my husband James and me— outspoken and unapologetic for the faith on social media— one or both of us usually hear this daily.
So how do we respond?
How do we respond when we share God’s design for marriage over the Thanksgiving table and a snarky family member retorts with “There’s truly no hate like Christian ‘love’”…?
How do we respond when we stand up for life on social media and a stranger tries to bring up an obscure (usually fictional) medical example to justify it, and then drops the hammer “No hate like Christian ‘love.””
How do we respond?
In my “Talking Points” series, I will teach you— from the perspective of a former atheist and former liberal— the most impactful and effective talking points to counter the culture’s most cutting slogans against Christian conservatives like us.
Myth #1: Their definition of ‘love’ is somehow objective, logical or practical.
Atheists and non-believers live in a fantasy world where they view their own reasoning as “logical” and “practical”— we know this is nonsense, as people can talk themselves into the most horrific things and believe them to be good, moral and justified (take the Holocaust, for example).
The good news abut the popular atheist line “No hate like Christian ‘love"‘“ is that it already acknowledges your faith as its foundation.
Yes, we are Christian.
But, as such, we understand that any definition of “love” created outside of Christ and His identity is incomplete at best, and a downright lie at worst.
Truth #1: No one can define “love” apart from Jesus— the only true source of it.
A non-believer doesn’t even know what “love” is, because they don’t have Jesus in their lives.
So start by acknowledging that… kindly and with compassion.
“Well, I guess that depends on what your unique definition of ‘love’ is…”
Get them to define theirs.
Listen to them.
Then ask, “So how does that work with everyone else’s unique definitions of ‘love’?”
Give them reasonable examples— different from their own— and ask what makes their individual definition of love “the right one”?
Because ultimately the truth we already know is that: without Christ, everyone is simply running their own lives based on their own unique rules. And those rules change and warp with time and justifications and whims.
Don’t tell them about the insignificance of their own opinion; demonstrate it.
Demonstrate to them how flimsy and subjective their definition of “love” is, as simply one of infinite examples and therefore no more trustworthy or valid than any others.
This opens the door to prove: “So, at a minimum, you have to acknowledge that my definition of ‘love’ is technically just as valid as yours, even if you disagree with it.”
Except yours is rooted in Christ, therefore the victory is already yours— so go on.
Myth #2: Love has no rules.
This is where your talking points will grow legs.
Ask the non-believer if their definition of “love” has any rules attached to it.
(If they say “yes,” great!)
If they say “no,” point out the impracticality of that, and use the example of parenthood to do it.
“So, by your definition, a parent could love their child by leaving an open bottle of alcohol on the table and when the child approaches the bottle and picks it up, the parent is loving them by not saying anything?”
“Would a parent love their child well by allowing their 7 year-old daughter to go out on a date with some random adult man?”
“Would a parent love their toddler well by keeping the front door unlocked, unsupervised and ajar?”
Truth #2: True love requires rules and direction, because true love protects.
In the same way our young children don’t understand why they are not allowed to eat Fudgsicles for breakfast, we won’t always understand why God sets certain His rules.
And sure, we could try to explain the concepts of nutrition, blood sugar and protein to a three year-old, but would it probably resemble God trying to explain to us why marriage is between one man and one woman.
We might understand some of it, but its value and importance is not based on our understanding of it.
True love tells your child to stop climbing the bookshelf because it’s dangerous.
True love tells your spouse that driving home from the party drunk is wrong because it’s dangerous.
True love is not living in denial of the reasons certain rules are in place, even if we don’t fully understand all the reasons.
If you really want to blow their mind here, brush up on some very real and alarming statistics around hot-button issues, like the LGBTQIA community & women who receive abortions.
(For example, according to Grok, members of the LGBTQIA community are twice as likely to suffer from substance abuse disorder, almost 3x more likely to use illicit drugs, and 2-3 times more likely to meet the criteria for “depression, anxiety, any mental illness, or serious mental illness.” 39% of LGBT adults rated their own mental health as “Fair/Poor” versus only 16% of non-LGBT adults. Suicide attempts are between 3-6 times higher in the LGBTQIA community than in the heterosexual community. Domestic violence is exponentially higher. Sexually transmitted diseases are exponentially higher. Friend, I could go all day… just do some research on your own and you, too, will find similarly shocking results.)
Real love has rules and, as my own parents used to say growing up, “those rules exist for a reason.”
Myth #3: Pointing out those risks makes you “hateful.”
Is it hateful for a parent to tell a child that sticking a fork into a light-socket is dangerous?
Is it hateful to tell a friend about the statistics when they are considering getting back together with an abusive ex?
Is it hateful to tell someone struggling with same-sex attraction about the epidemic of STDs and STIs within the LGBTQIA community?
Truth #3: Statistics don’t replace Scriptural truth; they help prove it.
When you are armed with real life statistics and data (something that atheists and non-believers value greatly), you can use the existing data to prove Scriptural truth.
Unless you intend on converting the atheist right then and there, relying on the old “Because Jesus said so” will not gain you much ground in this conversation.
But, armed with real-world statistics and heartbreaking data, you can introduce the non-believer to the fact that why Christians oppose these things is actually out love and a sincere desire to protect people from the (very real and well-documented!) negative consequences of making dangerous choices.
You don’t need to prove to them that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Your job is to prove that actually Christians are coming from a place of profound love, and that it is non-believer’s definition of love which is actually incomplete and ill-informed.
Written by: Trisha Fenimore, VP of One Mission Field
